She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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