Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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