It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
