"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
