That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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