New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Boobs speak an international language.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
