I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
