I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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