why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
