D3 body, D1 cock
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just cut my nipple shaving
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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