Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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