is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
