I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
