ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
