I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
