You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
