I want to make a zoo with you.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
