Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just found a bag of teeth...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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