If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
