I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
