wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
