hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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