we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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