Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Randomize
