Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Your cock deserves a montage
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
