There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
