So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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