You just made me feel so damn special
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
