Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
