Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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