"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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