Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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