reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
