Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
