I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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