eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
