My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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