But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
