no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
