i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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