so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
