Fine. I'll sleep in my office
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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