Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
