"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You pole danced in your parka.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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