Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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