I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize