Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
