mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
