I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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