grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
