She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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