i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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