hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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