whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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