my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
