if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
