I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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