dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
