we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
