I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
